The Bachelor – Episode 4 Recap
Well, there was a lot to work with this week. Tammy tackled. Mykenna bruised. Madison threw a helmet. Aalayah returned. Peter waffled. Deandra yelled. Natasha’s head spun in a circle. Victoria F. by the defibrillator. And Chase Rice was well, Chase Rice.

And through it all, we wondered: when will Peter stop refereeing girl fights and get to the work of finding the wife he “knows is in this room”? Never is the answer. At least not until America’s ends its fascination with the Black Swan-esque friendship between Victoria P. and Aalayah. And with watching our fearless captain flail like wet laundry in the wind.

But let’s not dive in without recognizing the vividly underwhelming reaction Chris Harrison elicited from the women when he announced they were leaving the perma-sunny hills of Bachelor Mansion, CA for… Cleveland. That face? The one you’re making now? You’ll be making it again when Cush talks about his poop.

Strap in and keep your head, hands and feet inside the train! Because, just like riding rollercoasters in an abandoned fun park in driving midwestern rain, this episode is about to leave you speechless, woozy and disheveled.

Part 1: The Canoe

Part 2: The Liar

Due to this week’s lack of rose ceremony, we have no updates to our predictions for next week:

And therefore our accuracy averages remain the same: